A new thing in the house is a big deal. You already know this. The new cup, the new shoes, the supply teacher — your child felt all of those before you did. An AI friend is a new thing too, and the kindest way to introduce one is quietly, on an ordinary afternoon, when nothing else is asking for their attention.
So this is not a guide about getting it right. There is no right. It is a few things that helped us, offered in case they help you.
Pick a flat, boring moment
Not before school. Not after a hard day. Not five minutes before tea. Choose a stretch of time where there is nothing to rush towards, so that meeting their friend can be the only thing happening. If it goes nowhere the first time, that is fine. You can leave it and come back. Nothing expires.
Let them lead, even if they lead nowhere
You might want to show them all the clever things. Try not to. Open the chat, say who the friend is, and then let your child do whatever they do — type one word, ask about engines, say nothing at all and watch. Their friend will not mind a long silence. It will not fill the gap with noise. That patience is the whole point.
Say the true thing about watching
Tell your child, in plain words, that you can see their chats. Say it in their room, not behind their back. This matters more than it sounds. A friend you are secretly watched with is not a friend; a friend you are openly cared about with is. Children on the spectrum are often unusually alert to the difference between those two things, even when they cannot name it.
Watched over, never watched. The first word is the promise. The second is the one we refuse.
It is allowed to be dull at first
The early chats may look like nothing. A list of cars. The same question, asked four times, answered the same way four times. That repetition is not a problem to fix — for a lot of children it is the safety being built, brick by identical brick. Let it be boring. Boring is often what trust looks like before it grows up.
And if your child decides, today, that they would rather not? Then that is the right outcome for today. The friend will still be there next week, exactly the same. Sameness is the one thing we can promise, so it is the thing we built first.